Sarcasm Is A Lost Art

Guest asks:

esedafnisnunez: hi do you like young dick

First of all, define ‘young dick’. As opposed to what exactly? Often, age is pertinent to the person, not his ‘special friend’, so to imply that one’s dick is young would automatically tell you that the person, too, is young. Why not just state something like “do you like young guys?”. In which case, I will reply “I like gentlemen”. I’m just not that drawn to guys who go around asking women if they like young dick. The implication is obvious. One I can easily turn the sarcasm on.

“No, I like old dick. I like ’em as old as possible. Wrinkly, shriveled up old dick that sags and is limp. That’s the dick I like.”

Another guest chimed in, as well.

bigdaddywrb: i have balls they wabble to and throw i can tie um in knot i can tie them in a bow i can throw over my shoulder my balls hang low lol

And then, there are the guys that unbeknownst to me at the time, appear to be playing some sort of word game where I have to figure out where the sentences begin and end.

magikcum: open legs very hard face cam

Is that clean, at all? I’d be afraid of something, especially since I’m unfamiliar with the ‘rules’ applying to backdoor play.

touche15: do you have any whipped cream bb?  If you do would you be inyp squirting whipped cream into your asshole and then squitring it out? its a little weirf but saw it on a porno and it really sexy??? its cool if not?????

Better to be safe than sorry. I often will just refer these dudes to the search engine. Such a handy little tool. 🙂 In this case, I just smiled and asked if he liked hockey.

joe.tourangeau: show me ur boobs ill pop u private

I’m sure you will, Joe. I’m suuuure you will.

Yet another pathetic attempt from the guy that has been trying desperately to pinpoint my location for the entire time I’ve been on Streamate (2 & 1/2 years). Also, who puts their telephone area code into their chat handle on a sex site? Usually, people will use the year they signed up, or their birth year, maybe even their age but their telephone area code? Well, this one does. That’s to collaborate his story that he is indeed living in Montreal, the same city as I am in. Then, he doesn’t look like a stalker when he innocently inquires about what particular area (or outer-lying region) of Montreal I am in.

boondocks514: thts my town ive nvr seen yu
boondocks514: you living in the west islands

boondocks514: i know the west island like dorval lool

boondocks514: its my home time aswell thats the only reason im asking ive never seen you

And at long last, the revelation!

b1be28: IS THAT YOU, “BRIA”?

Isn’t that a drink? Oh wait, no, that’s Brio. I give up! On second thought, it’s probably the result of cheap marketing by one of the affiliates, posing as me but going by the name Bria on some messenging platform or dating site. Typical of affiliates to use those desperate tactics. I sure do miss the days when sites would spend good money to advertise!