Life’s Lost Lessons
The more we learn, the less we know.
Today, we will discuss the evolution of internet phrases. Once upon a time, in the adult entertainment industry, the phrase “pussy cat. lets see it” meant they wanted you to take something off to expose your vagina (excuse me for using the proper term, as the slutty version is reserved for my private shows). In fact, this was not the case last night, or so I learned. After explaning how it is a faux-pas to show this sort of content in the free room (where we are restricted to frontal nudity only), he wrote this in my chat: “i didn’t mean pussy babe”. I’d pay to have a copy of the confused look I must have had on my face at that very moment. Then came the magic words that provided much needed relief to my boggled mind: “wanted you to do a cat pose”! I laughed (how could you not?) and was more than happy to play right along. Besides, I’ve always enjoyed getting into those sleek, stealthy poses, body stretched out on all 4’s, extending my hind legs on the stretch-walk, shaking them as I lean in toward my napping area and then lightly hissing at the camera as I turn in for another 23-hour catnap.
Someone entered my chatroom and typed: “atm?”. ATM used to stand for Automatic Telller Machine. I giggled and told him to go down the street, take a left at the first set of lights, than a right at the gas station and then another left and continue straight to the town mall where he’d find a whole row of them outside. Knowing this means Ass To Mouth, I started to think about how completely gross that is and verbalized those very thoughts. In serious mode now and at some point during my rant, I asked him how he’d like to have my dildo shoved up his ass and then inserted into his mouth; how that would feel. I must have gotten my point through loud and clear because he was gone like a bat out of hell. The rest of the room was rather amused. I spoke my mind about it. Of course this is just my opinion and agree or disagree – I’m entitled to my opinion. It’s all fine and dandy when they want us to do it but turn those tables around and whoa! Me? NOOOOO way, chica! Have you gone mad? Are you nuts? LOLOLOL Not if you paid me $1,000,000.00 !!!!!!!!!!!!! Pretty funny then how you expect me to do it for your measly per/min fee! Honestly! Heh!
Someone else entered my room with the weirdest comment I think I’d ever seen. OK, perhaps not the weirdest but certainly in the top 10: “it hurts to pee because my cocks so big. in 12 inches. in erction”. I was going to be myself and go off on his bad English, spelling errors and such but after reading his statement, I realized the poor guy had ‘bigger’ problems than that. Pun intended. I was in awe of this guy’s gift of gab and the quality of his content. He continued to amaze me with: “my pee hole is long”. Then, the phrase that made me realize it was time to turn off the computer, step away from it slowly and go to bed, finally: “i cum the same amount of water in your bottle at one time? it hurts”.
Just when I was about to hit the ‘end session’ button, “HEllo, my dear…Here’s 5.00 for being the best on the entire service…” came my savior! I stuck around for a little while longer, until someone else went exclusive, then a few privates and then, the nice guy in guest chat with the gold was gone. Then came the straw that broke the camel’s back: “Do you ever choke yourself while fingering? (Not nearly as gross as ass to mouth…but still kinda crazy)”. I laughed, shrugged and hit the button that saved my life! 🙂
No lesson learned.