Q’s & A’s

Member asks: “Why do girls not like Anal?”

My response: “Let’s get a general feel for that. We all have asses. Hey guys, how would YOU feel about having something shoved into your little hole back there?”

General consensus: Silence. Fear.

Amanda = 1, Member 0.

Another member asked: “are you able to fully deepthroat any of your toys?”

I responded: “Oh gosh no, hell no. Please just save us both the agony and move on to one of those girls that uses huge toys and does the porn star thing on here because I really am just the girl next door with my tiny toy.”.

If I wasn’t proud to be a ‘girl next door’, I suppose I might have been left feeling inadequate. On the other hand, I’m easy to please, don’t require too much. Either give some gold, go private or exclusive and toss in a few compliments for good luck! I’m happy as a pig in … you know what!

Gotta love these ones: “WHERE ABOUTS AYE?”, he asks.

My reply: “I’m in Montreal, Canada and “aye”, I’m not the captain of a ship. It’s spelled “e-h” and pronounced “ey”. C’mon dude!”

And no, I don’t live in an igloo (it would have melted long ago). The only cops on horses here are up on the mountain and in extreme rural mountainous areas, not in the city or urban districts. They drive in cars, with sirens and flashing red and blue lights. It is believed that they have a contract for free donuts with the local Tim Horton’s coffee shop chain, however.

Next question: “do you feel like doing a sloppy gag show?”, blurted a member who had just entered the room.

My response was short but sweet: “Nawwww.”. I’m just not into that sort of thing.”.

 I’m not. Some things you’re just not into and for me, one of them is my own spit dribbled all over my face and chin. Other secretions are fine though. It’s just a thing I have, I guess.

You know you’re in trouble when a (genuine, bona fide) member asks: “am i the only one who gives gold?”. He had been in my room for a good 20 minutes at this point, at least. My response: “Yes. You are.”.

I knew my night was over when this comment came: “How do they say get in the house in canada?!”!

My response: “(pronounced, for the sheerr thrill of making him think we Canadians say it the way he thinks we do) “hewse” “aboot”. There. Happy? Good night, guys. Sleep well. I’m outa here.”.

I could probably think of or conjure up hundreds, if not thousands, of great excuses for why it was so slow, but I couldn’t, in all honesty, make logic of any of them. Slow night.