We’re Not Whores …
Women in this industry who allow themselves to be called a “slut” or “whore” really need to grow a set of balls and learn that we teach others how to treat us simply by the way we choose to respond. It’s not par for the course to be treated this way, and no, we never asked for it. This is abuse that no self-respecting woman should have to put up with. It sickens me when women revert to calling themselves a slut, in an effort to appease their customers or impress their bosses with what they perceive to be a general good attitude or “openmindedness” toward their occupation.
I can’t, even jokingly, refer to myself as a “slut” or a “whore”. This is not who I am. I am not permiscuous and I do not have sex with people for money.
I take my clothes off in front of the camera, from the comfort of my own home. No promiscuity involved. I don’t have sex with anyone for money. Of all the gray area that could possibly define “sex”, someone standing before a camera is in no way, “having sex” with the person on the other end of the computer chatroom. If virtual sex is real sex, then I suppose virtual marriage is legit, too, and let’s toss in a few virtual kids, then we can buy a virtual house and live virtually ever after! Reality check, please!
As far as I’m concerned, I’m as distant, to that viewer, as Miss November in Playboy is. Ridiculous to think we’re any more obtainable.
Are these the same women who would have never thought of themselves as sluts before, suddenly playing the part? Perhaps there is a silent complacency where this type of mental abuse is concerned. What makes it acceptable? Why do women choose to suffer at the hands of these webpimps for such small sums of money, in comparison to what the webpimps are earning off of the girls’ hard work? Why is it such a male-dominated industry when it’s the WOMEN that are the main attraction here, by and large? If made to feel small, belittled, degraded (the standard in brainwashing 101), these men can easily gain control over them, and eventually the entire industry. It’s already happening.
One can create a website, fill it with content, earn money and NEVER have to pay the girl whose content they used, because they chose to hide under a moniker with camgirl content floating abundant. One can be certain that the girls are not being paid (the reason these sites keep so well hidden). Good luck finding out who the owner is. Better luck suing them!
What about turning the tables on these webpimps? Dare little miss “whore” call her boss a “pimp”, even though the shoe fits?
It’s amazing how complacent people are and how afraid people are to claim what is theirs, or to sue for what rightfully is theirs. They would rather sit in silence, do as they’re told and not have to do any real work or have to deal with the ramifications of what the spotlight might bring them, tying them to this industry and all of its shadiness.
In no other industry is there so much theft, fraud, copyright infringement, extortion (add every other crime you can think of) going on, right under everyone’s noses. Doesn’t our dirty little industry deserve the same justice as the rest of the world?
We’re not whores, we’re just suckers!
Joy are discussing. 
amanda36c 
Joy 3:15 am on April 18, 2012 Permalink |
Hi Amanda,
First off, you certainly have a right to feel the way you do about everything expressed in your article. I’m going to share what came up as I read it.
For me the words slut and whore have no energy in them, so I don’t mind the words being used.
For me words are just words. It’s the energy we imbue them with which gives them power. On cam when I call myself a slut, tramp or whore I have no energy on it. Like you, I know I’m not really one. But you’ve got to admit, trading out sexual scenarios for money is, on most peoples moral compass, pretty slutty. LOL At least here in the States, sex for money, in person or online is a seedy, slutty thing for a ‘good girl’ to do. ha ha ha
Believe it or not, I’ve done a lot of spiritual study (religions love to control people by giving them terrible names….. sinners, for one). One of the spiritual truths I have embraced is, people by nature are whores. We ALL become a whore when we ‘sell ourselves out’ for something in return. Work a job we hate because of the great benefits and pay, stay in a relationship we’re not happy with because of the money or status, or stay in a marriage even though we no longer love or respect our partner. All humans occasionally whore themselves, selling out for something they want.
Lucky for me the time I spend on cam is not what I consider whoring. I’m an actress & exhibitionist by nature; I actually enjoy spending time with ‘my guys’. When it stops being fun, I quit doing it. That’s why you’ll only see me on for 1.5-2 hours at a time, and without a set schedule. I do it because it’s fun. When we don’t follow our heart in our career, THEN we are a whore. We’ve sold ourselves for a paycheck. There are some women on SM who really seem to hate what they do. When they’re on cam they’re always bitching and being disagreeable. It makes me wonder, why are they on cam if they hate it so much? Now THAT is what I consider whoring, doing something you hate for a paycheck.
I am one of the woman who will call myself a slut or whore, although not too often in free chat. My specialty is roleplay and fetish, and often times those words are used within the scenarios with my guys. If I have one of ‘my guys’ who likes me to use those words, I will often tease them during public chat by using those words. But personally I do not hold any energy around those words myself. Just as I don’t have any energy on calling my vagina a cunt, pussy, twat, snatch, fuck hole, cooter, whatever. They’re just words. I’m acting, doing improv, the words are just a role I’m playing. These days, with the economy being so tight, there are many people doing jobs they hate for the money.
As an example, the time I spent working for an airline making reservations for people, I was a total whore. I hated every minute of it, yet was trapped by the pay (it use to be high paying), the flight benefits and the ‘glamor’ people perceived working for an airline. I was a whore and hated nearly everything about my life because I hated what I had to do every day. Then there is camming. I enjoy spending time on cam, believe I’m being fairly treated, paid well and with regularity, and I am in control of my schedule, no body is breathing down my neck, I have very few tasks to deal with when I sign off for the night. I have lots of control in my career and none of the risk!
On a lighter note, there is an entertaining (and revealing?), How Slutty Are You ‘scientific’ survey:
http://www.okcupid.com/slut
I took it and it revealed I’m 57% slutty, which sounds about right. ha ha ha
As for our only getting 35%, if you’ve ever run an adult internet business you’d understand why 35% is a reasonable sum for guaranteed transactions/paychecks. As you’ve pointed out with your other posts, the company that offers more money also makes the camgirl eat it when the credit is bad or they get a refund. With SM they carry ALL the credit risk, to all the programming and engineering, PAY for traffic to the site, and lots more you can only begin to imagine unless you’ve run a porn related business. You can’t just start one up from your back bedroom, believe me! Just the other day I read about another credit processing company who has quit processing all ‘adult industry’ transactions because the risk of fraud, etc. is just too high. High risk porn transactions (whether selling your worn panties, or porn pictures, or streaming your own cam) are very costly, it’s not like running your VISA at your local Fredrerick’s of Hollywood. Even sites that sell adult toys pay higher processing fees than a regular retail store. It’s VERY expensive and time consuming, dealing with credit, fraud, charge-backs and bank disputes.
OK, thanks for listening =)
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amanda36c 1:57 pm on April 18, 2012 Permalink |
Hey Joy,
Thanks for your comments. We see the whole “whore” thing differently, which is fine. I have always understood its definition as this, the simple one:
— n
a prostitute or promiscuous woman: often a term of abuse
With terms today used so loosely, wrongly (ie: “could of” instead of “could have”, “could care less” instead of “couldn’t care less”, etc.), it’s not likely everyone will agree to use one definition either, since there are probably a thousand versions of the word in all the different dictionaries and more meanings when considering a variety of scenarios.
I agree that people, by nature, are whores because of the things we do in order to achieve the things we want. In the exact way you explained it, with focus on those who do this in the workplace all the time. Is that really whoring though? It can be considered slavery, for the exact same reason, (though if given the choice, we’d take our jobs any day over having to actually work the cotton fields). The same can be said of having to work the streets. I guess on a larger scale, it all boils down to perspective. If someone called me a “whore”, I wouldn’t feel the need to ask them if they meant because I work hard at a job I hate. The term, used as a comment, almost always means the same thing. Unless, of course the discussion prior involved how we generally whore ourselves out to earn a living.
I enjoy what I do on cam (always have) but have had to endure harrassment for the entire time I was on Streamate. In fact, the last few years on iFriends, before I finally left, had the exact same harrassment (even mannerisms and insults). This is not a typical case of someone poking and getting their thrills in my chatroom, climaxing over the attention and reactions they are getting from me. In fact, I block them every time. It doesn’t help and Streamate does nothing about it, though I reported it when it first started happening. I don’t encourage it or give them any reason to return. They have made their mission clear in a statement they made once and that was to blatently tell me, in my own chatroom to “stay offline”. The harrassment continues, to this day. The only way to stop them would be to file harrassment charges and have law enforcement get a warrant to search Streamate’s servers to find the account and trace the ip of the person doing this. I’d be willing to bet that the credit cards plus IDs used and the person harrassing me are not one in the same and I’m also certain the ip was well masked. In any case, this is the only thing truly stopping me from enjoying every moment on cam. I pay no attention to them or their stupid comments but it is very obvious to me who they are. This will probably never stop but there’s no way in hell I am going to let them have any say in my decision to leave this industry. That is simply not going to happen.
Joy – You think 35% is fair? If traffic is fairly distributed, across the board, perhaps. If the site actually buys traffic. If broken features get fixed. If upgrades are made to work with the latest versions of the cam program (the very heart of our revenue source). I would agree with you that it is fair, but that is clearly not the case.
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